So, you were talking to a girl. Everything was going smoothly, as smoothly as these things can go. You were texting her for the better part of the day. In your mind, you were getting close to her one text at a time. You two started to get intimate. After mustering up the much-needed courage you finally ask her out. In your mind, you have already envisioned how your date with this girl is going to go. After putting in a lot of planning and your valuable time, you finally have a plan. You are going to take her to a place of which she always talked to you about.
You decide to be a “man” and you have got all the reservations and necessary arrangements done. The clock is ticking, with each passing second that particular date and time is getting nearer. You have already thought about everything you are going to do right from the very first time you see her. Everything is going great. The things are so good that you started thinking that you just might have a future with her. Suddenly she started ghosting you.
This was the thing you dreaded, the thing you thought would never occur with this girl because you thought she was different. But, she is not replying to your texts, out of desperation you decided to give her a call but it goes straight to voicemail. So, it’s official that she has ghosted you. This leads to your fragile heart to shatter into pieces.
You are in a predicament, you many unanswered questions. You go into the spiral of self-loathing, thinking there has to be something you did which triggered all this. You are a warrior, that’s your coping mechanism. Upon digging you find out that she just got back with her ex. The one she said she has no feelings left for. This leads you into a bubble of feeling you aren’t able to understand. What you also are unable to comprehend is the commonality of this situation. You are not alone. This happens to many single men out there.
So, she left you reeling, all alone, high and dry. Now what? What could be done now? The answer to this question is very simple. It is a two-stage process depending upon what you want to do:
Stage 1: You want her back:
This step is not going to be an easy route. For this, to work you need to understand why she went to her ex in the first place. The reason could be the reminisce of their shared past. On this frontier, you cannot beat her ex. So, the best way to tread is to give her some space and let her know how you feel about her. Acting cool and not desperate is going to be the only option to get her back. Leave her by conveying your message clearly that she should contact you if things with her ex don’t work out.
This method could prove to be highly toxic for you because if she doesn’t come back then in a sense you would have to go through the ordeal of losing her for the second. Thus, the second step is the best way forward.
Stage 2: Forget about her and move on:
Consider this as food for your thought, if she ever wanted to be with you genuinely then why would she dump you like she did to get back with her ex. The silver lining that you need to see here is that she never wanted to be with you and you don’t deserve such a person in your life. This is actually good that you got to know this fact very early otherwise the magnitude of the heartbreak would have been agonizing to bear.
So, go and get that gym membership you always wanted. Give yourself some time to grieve because that is also important and at the same time start doing things to get that self-esteem back. There is a lot of fish in the sea; this particular one just wasn’t for you.